Stalking, walking and a total pillock!

I don’t seem to be too frequent with this whole blogging thing but it’s time that’s getting away with me rather than a lack of something to say! Interesting or not – I always have something to say!!

My first news is that I’ve managed to acquire a stalker. Okay, stalker might be a slight exaggeration but it sort of feels that way sometimes. Last week I was taking Fudge out for a walk when my neighbour (two doors down) stopped and started chatting with me about the roadworks that are supposed to take place on our street next month. There’s really not much to say about it – they’re putting in some speed bumps and we won’t be able to park in parts of the street for about a day, I think. It’s really not exciting but he (Greg) managed to talk to me for what felt like an eternity about this. I had that feeling that you get when you’re trying to tell someone you’ve got to go but you don’t get a chance because they’re talking all the flipping time!

Anyway, ever since that day he seems to appear whenever I go out into the street. The other day I was coming home from Mrs Jenkin’s house and there he was and oh, didn’t he just have to come over and talk to me. After that happening a few time he started coming to my door. The first time he asked if he could borrow a cup of sugar (no – I’m not kidding) but after that it was just to “chat”. It serves me right for being unable to be nasty to someone but I’m getting closer the more he bugs me!

I also got to walk two tiny puppies this week as my mum took on a new client. They were Labradors (or golden retrievers? Hmmm.) and one was golden and one was chocolate. Too sweet. Luckily Fudge didn’t meet them or she would have been very jealous!

Mrs J is still going fine. I took her shopping a couple of weeks ago and she loved it. I say shopping – we went to Asda – but I actually had fun too! She’s wonderful and I’m having so much fun. Don’t tell anyone at work but it’s almost more fun than Lilies!

Today wasn’t one of the better days though. I met her grandson. Only he ain’t that grand.

I turned up at the house today and I’d brought some essentials with me like milk, eggs, ice-cream and whatever. I was putting things in the fridge when someone grabbed my arm and near yanked it out of the socket. The guy demanded to know who I was and what the hell I was doing stealing stuff from his grandmother’s freezer.

I may not be able to be mean to some people but I was so mad. Firstly, what self-respecting burglar would start off by going into the freezer? For that matter, if I had simply wanted to steal food, why on earth would I want stuff that was frozen solid! Oooh, I’m still fizzing just thinking about it! I’m pretty sure that since this is the first man that I’ve come face to face with that’s made me mad since the break-up, he bore the brunt of my anger but he deserved it! The funny thing was (it’s only funny now that I’ve calmed down!) that the thing that got me maddest was that while he was remonstrating with me for being a thief/vagrant/whatever, the freezer was still standing open and for some reason that pissed me off. I think he was a little stunned when, instead of answering his questions I just started into a huge rant about how bad that was for the environment and how it was people like him that were to blame for global warming. I wouldn’t be surprised if he thinks that I’m a lunatic now! Not that I care!

Mrs J wandered in and saw the pair of us standing there (standing off?) and told him who I was and then told me to close the freezer, didn’t I know that leaving it open was bad for the environment. If I’d been closer to freezer-boy I would have kicked him in the goolies and smacked the smug smile off his face.

The real shame is that he is gorgeous. I mean, knees weak, mouth dry, ruggedly gorgeous and so my type. Unfortunately for me he’s a doofus. Never judge a book by his cover – my mum always says that and as I’ve promised, I’m going to be listening to her from now on!

Onto happier things, work at Lilies (the florists that I work for) has finally slowed down after the craziness of last weekend and I like it so much better now. I prefer it when you can take a little more time with each customer and it also gives you the opportunity to ask what the flowers are for and get a little back story! During the run up to the big occasions (like Valentine’s Day) it’s all the same and it gets boring. Today, a 50-odd year old man came into the shop looking for a bouquet of flowers for his wife because she had a cold and he hoped he could cheer her up. Now that’s romance and made me all happy inside! Since the only romance I’ve gotten of late has been a stalker and a total arse – I think I might sign up to match.com so I can at least meet some interesting men!

The new job

It’s so nice to be able to wake up every morning and be excited for the day to come. It’s like the feeling you get when the sun is shining the birds are singing and you feel that everything is right with the world. All I need now are little animals to come out of the forest when I sing and I’m in a Disney cartoon!

I started my job with Mrs Jenkins, oh, two and a bit weeks ago now and it’s just great. Mrs Jenkins reminds me of Mrs Pepperpot but with style. At least style enough for an eighty-something year old! She’s cute as a button but feisty along with it and some of the things that she says make me blush to my very toes! She tells stories of when she used to go skinny dipping with the local lads as a young girl, when she was caught kissing the vicar’s son – and then seems shocked when she thinks my tops are too revealing or my skirts are too short. And my skirts are rarely above my knee – it’s still winter after all and even then, I’m not sure I have the legs to carry off short skirts. But that’s irrelevant. She’s completely confusing but that just makes her interesting and already I don’t think of it as a job but as something that’s just fun to do – I should have been doing this volunteering thing ages ago.

I normally head over to Mrs J’s about 3 times a week and spend at least a couple of hours there. She eats like a bird so the cooking isn’t too demanding but as soon as she learned that I could bake cakes, she’s always after me to make her scones, cakes or buns. Since I get to eat them too, I never argue.

I took Fudge (my bichon frisé) up to her house one time and she seemed a little wary of the little ball of fluff and told me she was watching her closely to make sure she wouldn’t, and I quote, “whiz” on her couch! When I offered to put Fudge out in the car she said that I didn’t need to bother myself. I’m pretty sure she likes Fudge more than she wants to!

This afternoon she made me water her flowers (because it was sunny!) and then, after I’d fixed the lightbulb in the loo and cleaned up the kitchen, we ate cake while watching the telly. The snooker is on at the moment and Mrs J decided to watch it since Steven Hendry was playing and she thinks he’s hot. This disturbed me immensely. I’m not saying Stephen Hendry isn’t hot – I’ll admit I’ve never even thought about it – but it’s just not something you expect to hear from such a small, elderly woman. It’s never going to be dull, that’s for sure.

Here’s hoping things continue on like this and the sun is here to stay!

Something old, something new...

It’s been 6 weeks and 4 days since I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months, 3 weeks and 2 days. Although ‘broke up with’ is perhaps not as appropriate as ‘dumped the lying shit’ – but that’s simply semantics.

I have managed to forgo the usual pattern of breaking up having completely skipped the upset and moved straight to the anger section of the process. That is really a gimme since he decided that it was acceptable to sleep with one of my friends over the weekend that I was lying sick in my bed with the flu. So that’s one ex-boyfriend and one ex-friend with no waiting!

Honestly, I think I’m more mortified than anything else. And a little embarrassed and, of course, livid. But the fact that I wasn’t as upset as I think I should be probably shows that perhaps he wasn’t the right guy for me. Well, that and the fact that he slept with my friend! What a git! Surely there are some guys out there with a little moral fibre.

My mum never liked him anyway which should have made me worry from the get go. Always listen to your mum – that’s my new motto! So I’m practically over it now (apart from the little flares of righteous anger that come every now and then) and I’m quite excited to be single. We’ll just see how long that excitement lasts.

And to be even more positive – I don’t have to buy that god-awful bran cereal I hate, I don’t have to see whether the toilet seat is up or down and I don’t have to feel guilty when I want to watch a soppy, girly thing on the telly just because he’s missing yet another night of football.

So this is the start of my blog and my new life! As well as my normal job (I work in a florists and occasionally my mum makes me help with her dog walking business) I just got a ‘job’ helping this little old lady in her home. I’ll just be doing little tasks for her, some cooking, cleaning, shopping but mainly keeping her company. Should be fun and a little different so long as she’s not one of those evil old ladies that’s going to be nasty to me. And also so long as she doesn’t make me catch any spiders! That starts on Monday so I’ll let you know if I survive.